Journey to a New Life

Happy Independence Day! Happy Rwanda Liberation Day!

2010-07-05T15:02:00.002-04:00

2 Years Ago...

2010-07-01T06:43:00.004-04:00

Two years ago today, in the small African country of Rwanda, a baby girl was born. I don't know what I was doing that day, July 1, 2008. Even before that day, my life and the life of that baby girl were planned by God. My life's path, which began on the other side of the world, would lead me to Africa. It would lead me to love someone as much as I have ever loved. It would lead me to care for strangers more than I have ever cared, true compassion. It would lead me to cry for my nation, which I love, tears of frustration. And it would show me that God is real. He is more loving and more active in our lives than I ever knew. The path of that baby girl and my path have intertwined, along with that of my husband and her siblings and many others. I am so thankful that I have the privilege of being Malaika's mother. People often say that we are a blessing to her and that we have saved her. No. She has blessed us more than we could ever possibly bless her. She has saved us from our own misconceptions and ignorance. Someday, this little girl will do great things!

Malaika, you are amazing and beautiful. You remind me that we are made in the image of God. I love you. Happy 2nd birthday.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Kids in Africa: Your Questions Answered!

2009-09-07T23:07:00.004-04:00

I have had this question so much that I have decided to blog about it. Everyone wants to know where we stand on the issue of bringing kids after bringing our 4 and 6 year old little ones to Rwanda and Ethiopia. The above photo was taken on our first day in Rwanda...moments after we met Malaika for the first time. Here are my thoughts and answers to the most common questions that people ask:

While we were there, did we ever regret bringing our kids along? Are we glad we brought them? If we were to do it all over, would we bring them again? Did we ever feel in danger there? What extra things did we bring? What about shots and medications?

Before I answer, let me tell you a little bit about my kids. My 4 year old daughter is very mature for her age. People are usually pretty surprised when they find out she is 4. She's smart and well mannered. My son is 6 and is also a good kid. He is not a boy who likes to be overly rowdy. In my opinion, they are both fairly patient (considering their ages). They do get moody when they are tired or hungry, which does happen in Africa at times. I would say that they are both pretty laid back...but they are kids, nonetheless. So the answers to the questions...

Are we glad we brought them? Absolutely. It was a family experience. They know every detail of the adoption. They understand where Malaika is from and what Rwanda is like. They know the orphanage. They met her caregivers. They have an appreciation for the amazing things that had to take place for God to bring Malaika and our family together. We were in Africa for almost 3 weeks...although this is definitely not the norm, it certainly wasn't what we had planned either! I am glad we didn't have to spend those weeks without our other two kids. So then...glad? Yes!!!

Did we ever regret bringing the kids along? Yes indeed! There was a time that I said, "Why did we bring them here? We made the wrong choice." This was our first night in Rwanda. We had lost all 8 of our bags (which we got back the following day, praise God!), we were sleep deprived, and we were experiencing a bit of culture shock. After we got our bags back, I never thought that again. I was glad they came with us.

Would we do it again? Absolutely. We would. As I said before, what they learned and the bond that they developed with their baby sister is something that could never be duplicated for our kids.

Did we ever feel in danger while in Rwanda? Not in the least. I would move there in a heartbeat if I had the chance. I didn't ever feel in danger. (Ethiopia was a different experience. Security alerts were making us a little nervous while we stayed there.)

What about shots/medications? If you choose to take your children, I recommend seeing a travel doctor. If you have a local children's hospital, they probably have one that specializes in pediatric travel. This is what we did. Our kids got many shots, as did we. We all took anti-malarials daily with no adverse affects. The children didn't get any illness or disease while we were in Africa.

Extras to bring on your trip? Bring familiar things. I brought peanut butter and jelly, fruit snacks, granola bars, fruit strips, trail mix, etc. A few times in Ethiopia we ordered bread and 7 Up to the room and they had peanut butter and jelly for lunch. They loved it. Also, a first aid kit, bug spray, and kid medicines. We brought unconstituted antibiotics for everyone. A portable DVD player for the airplane/hotel room is handy. Each kid had a backpack with video games, coloring books, activities, etc. I brought other stuff in the suitcase to switch it up a little each day. We took these everywhere we went. Africa involves lots and lots of waiting. (That is actually a major understatement!!)

Some things to consider: Are your children good at waiting? Are they obedient? How do they react when they are tired? How do they react when they are in a new environment? Please understand, I do NOT believe that taking the kids along is for every family. It was right for our family, but every family is different and so is every child.

When we began our adoption, we did not plan on taking the kids. It wasn't even something we were considering. There came a point in the adoption where we clearly felt God steering us in the direction of bringing them. It became more and more clear to us that we were supposed to do that. We prayed a lot about this. When our friends returned home after adopting from Rwanda, they advised us that they didn't feel that their trip would have been a great one had they brought their kids along (their trip was very fast, only 8 days). We totally reconsidered and almost changed our minds completely. After more prayer, however, we felt sure that God was leading us to take them. We decided to follow His lead and obey. We are glad we did. My point is, I believe wholeheartedly that God will lead you in the direction that you should go with this decision. It is huge. It will affect your children's entire lives. Do not try to make it on your own. God knows what is best.

Happy Birthday Malaika!

2009-07-01T00:23:00.002-04:00

Today is an emotional day! We are so excited that we get to share this special day with Malaika. It's a day of reflection...looking back over the past 12 months of Malaika's life and our lives as well. The time she spent at the orphanage, the time she was with Nyanja and her mother on outings, the time she was with us in Rwanda and Ethiopia, and now the time she is with us here at home. We are also remembering her precious birthmother today, and I'm quite sure she is remembering Malaika also. It's hard to explain, but I have a deep love in my heart for her and gratefulness for what she did for Malaika. My heart aches for her, thinking of the needs she must have which cause her to be unable to care for her baby girl. And thinking of the loss that she has suffered and the risk that she took to give Malaika a chance to survive, I can have nothing but respect and love for her. At the same time, I feel so unworthy to have been chosen as Malaika's mother. I think about that a lot. I wonder why God chose me to be the mother of such a precious, perfect little girl. I can only thank Him and praise Him and pray that I will raise her to be the woman He wants her to be, and that she will accomplish whatever plans He has for her.

So thank you, God! And happy birthday, sweet Malaika!!!

Our First Family Pictures!

2009-06-13T21:32:00.007-04:00

My 3 babies!

Malaika means "Angel".

Big brother holding his two little sisters.

Update

2009-05-05T22:21:00.008-04:00

Well sadly it seems that I will not be able to post my other journal entries. I believe they are lost in the abyss of computer land somewhere and cannot be retrieved. We have tried. I have enjoyed keeping this blog and I will update everyone on Malaika and our family periodically. Right now everyone is doing great and Malaika has bonded completely with our family. She is the perfect addition. God is good!

Emotions: You Can't Save The World

2009-03-06T21:34:00.007-05:00

You can't save the world. These are the words that my mom spoke to me the other day as I was telling her about the feelings I have been having. I think when you are in a place like Africa for almost three weeks, and you come to love it so much, your mindset changes. When you come home, you see things differently. I have so many emotions (sadness, anger, guilt...) that have been brought on by seeing the things that we saw. (Of course we have lots of happier emotions too but right now I'm specifically addressing these other emotions.)

Anger: I should not feel angry at people here because they have not seen what I have seen. They have not experienced what we've experienced. Sometimes I do get angry though. When I hear someone stressing out because they don't know which latte to order, sometimes I just want to say, "Who cares!? Don't you know that you are lucky you even have a choice!?" We sometimes complain about things and question God about our circumstances and all the while, someone on the other side of the world with a tiny fraction of what we have is content and thankful that they are alive for yet another day.

Guilt: And then there is guilt...it is just something I am trying to deal with. It comes from different sources...regrets over people we didn't help when we were there or guilt about some of the things we have here. I look down at my wedding ring sometimes and I think to myself, "I could have done more with that money than buy a ring."

Sadness: Sadness is sometimes the most difficult. I think of the babies and kids at Home of Hope and on the street. I think of the people that we saw begging. I want to do something right away. Then I realize I can't possibly. I am here...on the other side of the world. And even if I were there, where would I even begin? My mom is right, I can't save the world.

Why do I feel this way? I have come to the conclusion that these emotions are God's way of showing me many things. I love that through our experiences, we have felt compassion that we have never known we could feel. We have felt love for strangers. We have felt so blessed by God. I am realizing that I should not feel guilty for living in the only place I have ever known. The place God put me. I am meant to be here for a reason. Maybe to open the eyes of others who are just like I once was, having never seen how people on the other side of the world live, and not realizing how incredibly blessed each person in this country is to be here. So no, I definitely cannot save the world...but the cool thing is that I know I have a purpose, and I can fufill my purpose here.

Rwanda Pictures!

2009-02-05T21:05:00.019-05:00

Sorry I have neglected this blog lately! We are working on more paperwork. It's like the pre-adoption phase all over again! We have social security and immigration and tax stuff...ack! Anyway, I still have some journals to add and I promise I will do that but here are some pictures to hold you over until I find the time! :D

I was trying to remember where this one was taken (anyone know?). I am thinking that this was the main roundabout, but that may not be right. I forget! (As many times as we drove around it, you'd think I would remember!)

This is the the orphanage entrance. It is basically a long hallway with rooms on both sides. That is the baby nursery door there on the left.

This is Malaika's bed. It's very difficult for me to look this picture without getting emotional.

R looking out into the courtyard at the hotel. That is a construction fence in the back...there is a pool behind it, but it was being renovated.

Here is the hill on which you will find the blue gate. Notice on all of these pictures how clean the streets are in Rwanda! So much cleaner than the U.S...at least where I live!

This is rush hour in Kigali and it's pretty crazy. The green helmets are motorcycle taxis. Do not ride one. You will probably die. (I'm sure my friend is Rwanda is laughing right now!)

Church in Rwanda.

People are always out walking, talking, congregating...this is something I LOVE about Rwanda!

Two of my favorite pictures from Rwanda! Smiling waving kiddos in my friend's neighborhood!

The infamous blue gate leading to Home of Hope.

A little candy store on the way to the orphanage.

I have many more pictures to add later. I will as soon as I can find time!

Life After Adoption

2009-01-20T21:55:00.005-05:00

I don't think that in my entire life, I have ever felt love like we have felt, seen, and been surrounded by this week after bringing Malaika home. It has been so amazing. There is just no doubt that we have the best friends and family anyone could ask for.

Malaika is a dream come true. Perfect baby, sleeps all night, loves her bottle, all smiles. I now have four loves of my life. I know this will sound silly, but sometimes I think of all of the great and wonderful people in the world and I wonder why God would bless us so abundantly. I guess that's the best part about the love of God...we didn't do anything to earn it, but nevertheless it's there for us all. This past week has held so much love and so many blessings, I feel like I could be content for the rest of my life. I couldn't ask for more.

We are entering a new phase of our lives now. I knew from the start of our adoption that Malaika was not the only purpose for our experiences. I know that God has other goals and I am praying that He will make these clear to us as we are moving forward with "life after adoption". The initial elation of finally having Malaika home is unfortunately dampened with a sense of loss in the back of my mind for some reason. I keep thinking about the ones left behind. I looked into their eyes. They are not just babies...each one is a whole entire life. I keep asking myself, "What can we do?" This is one question I just don't have an answer to right now. Crying about it won't help...I already tried that. Maybe after the jet lag wears off, I will have more ideas about where to go from here. In the meantime, I am working on getting journals and pictures transferred over to the computer. Oh, and tomorrow is back to work for me. Hopefully a good semester is ahead.

We're Home!

2009-01-15T20:19:00.003-05:00

We are home! We are so happy to be home and with our family and friends! I can't wait for everyone to meet Malaika. She is just completely amazing. I feel like the luckiest mom in the world to have the three kids that God has given me. This experience has changed me. I am not the same person that I was a year ago...actually, I am not the same person that I was a month ago! I view everything differently than before: myself, my family, my country, the world! It is all much more to me now. I will never forget the little orphanage on the hill with the blue gate. There is so much I want to do. I hope that I can help others to see what a huge blessing adoption is. While I was in Malaika's room there at Home of Hope, I looked daily at the names of the babies. I hope one day to hear about each of their adoptions. As of now, Malaika was the only one in her room that was adopted out of about 30 babies. I am praying for the rest of the kids at the orphanage and for the caregivers. I also hope to organize a mission trip to the orphanage some day.

We were excited for everyone at home to meet Malaika when we were in Rwanda. We wanted the papers so that she would officially be our daughter...but as much as we wanted to come home, we cannot wait to go back to Rwanda.

(I will start adding journals as soon as I get my house in a live-able condition!)

Tomorrow...Ethiopia. We Hope.

2009-01-06T10:49:00.002-05:00

Well we did not get everything done today but we will get the passport tomorrow and fly to Ethiopia. It is Christmas tomorrow there but at least we will be there and Friday we can have our appointment. It wouldn't matter too much to me except that we are living out of suitcases because we thought we were leaving yesterday and again today and now tomorrow. Plus all of our clothes are dirty. We were going to wash them but we thought we were leaving yesterday and then today so we couldn't. They have to be out by 9am to get washed. Anyway, these little things are just minor annoyances...but they add up I guess when you have 3 kids. I am really trying to take it easy...I'm trying hard! I am just glad we have our girl with us for good now. We have the most difficult piece of paper to get. We are very close to coming home with her. I can't wait to get things back to normal. It's funny, the kids thought that since it was Christmas in Ethiopia, they were going to get more presents! haha! They are too funny. I hope that tomorrow I cannot blog because I am in Ethiopia! Did I mention that blogs are blocked in Ethiopia? I think I may be able to email my blogs though. Ok anyway, I'll update when I can!

Yay...Papers! And a Note From the Kids!

2009-01-06T02:56:00.004-05:00

We got the papers and Malaika is ours! If we can get the airline tickets changed today and the passport, we are going to Ethiopia today and we are going to TRY to get things taken care of faster than Tuesday. We are just thinking we may as well give it a shot. If not, we are all together.

From J to his friends:

I am having lots of fun in Africa. I have some neat pictures and I will bring them and show them to you. I hope you are having fun too. From J

From R to her friends:

I took lots of pictures with baby Malaika and she's so cute. That's all.

We'll try to update again soon!

Coming Home

2009-01-05T15:41:00.002-05:00

We were hoping to be leaving on Thursday but apparently Wed. and Thurs. is Ethiopian Christmas so everything is closed and we cannot get Malaika's visa on these two days. Our consulate appt. will not be until Friday and for some reason that is putting us leaving on Tuesday. This was upsetting because I am supposed to go back to work on Wed. night. I have no preparations made for my class yet. I was hoping to have a couple of days when I got home to do that. But what can we do? We will just have to go with it. The kids are ready to come home. They are thinking about their Christmas presents and wishing they were home playing. We brought a few toys along but after an entire week of them, they are just old news I guess. Jeremy is supposed to go back to work Thursday but in his line of work, I doubt he'll be able to right after a long trip like that. Please pray for us. We are all tired and we miss you guys. We are going in the morning to pick up the paper for Malaika. Today all kinds of crazy stuff happened and we got the paper written but it still needs to be signed. Anyway, it will work out in the end.

One cool thing that happened today is that we found the person who named Malaika. She is the person who wrote the birth "certificate". She knows the doctor who delivered Malaika! They all remember Malaika and they named her because they said she was an angel (her name means "angel" in Swahili). I thought that this was really neat.

Please just pray for us. This has not been easy but it is so worth it.

A Few More Pictures

2009-01-04T13:57:00.011-05:00

Here are some pictures from the other day. I have city pictures that I'll post later!

Journals for Days 2-7

2009-01-02T15:02:00.002-05:00

Day 2

This day was a great, great day! We picked Malaika up after breakfast and we were able to go into the orphanage. This was saddening, but at the same time, I felt relieved to see how caring the people who were taking care of her were. All of the sisters are so loving. These are genuinely selfless people. I have never met any like them. They are wonderful. We spent time visiting the babies. I felt like I might be seeing someone’s future son or daughter with each baby that I looked at. I tried to look at the names so I would remember when they were referred out to the families that I know from our agency or friends. We visited the older baby room…they were so precious. Just look at them and they smile. Then we saw some of the older toddlers, also adorable. They wanted to touch J and R. They broke my heart. Not many people adopt kids older than age 1. After seeing these kids, I would definitely be open to an older toddler for sure. There are just so many. I found myself trying to think of people I could convince to adopt! (If you are considering adopting from Rwanda, please consider a baby over age 1. These babies have little chance of being adopted.) Anyway, after we left the orphanage, we went to lunch and then to the airport to find out about the luggage. At the airport, we found that our luggage was, in fact, there! I was literally jumping up and down because I thought for sure it was gone forever. Jeremy and I had been up all night praying the night before. When our guide went to take the bags by herself (because we did not have our passports with us and could not go in), they asked her what was in the bags and looked and saw all of the diapers. To make a long story short, after lots of explaining, we were finally able to convince them that the diapers were donations and they did not make us pay a tax. If we were bringing them here to sell, we would need to pay a tax. I think it helped that we had the best proof of our adoption right there…the baby! So we got our luggage and went back to the hotel. At the hotel, we got all of the diapers, diaper covers, and Snappis out of the bags. You should have seen our guide. She was so so excited! She frequently visits the orphanage and said that this was a great gift for them. She told me several times that she was excited. So then we took the diapers and gave them to the orphanage along with a collage of all who helped us. That was such a great day. We had to leave Malaika at the orphanage for the night (we have to do this until we get our travel document). She had a great day. We all did.

Day 3

This day was a boring and long day. We got Malaika in the morning. The weather was so hot. Our guide had already been to some offices and had found that a date on a paper was wrong and had to be corrected by a judge. Unfortunately the judges were on vacation. Fortunately our guide seems to know just about everyone in Kigali so she found someone that could help and she was told to pick the paper up at 2pm. Well 2pm came and she went to get it…while she did that (along with the driver), we waited at the restaurant where we were eating. We waited there for probably 3 to 4 hours. Finally, she came back and had the paper! So by then we had to go and eat and it was time for bed. Imagine two kids and a baby at a restaurant for that long…not a good scene! They were so bored and hot!

Day 4

This was the day we were to go to the ministry and try to get our signature for the travel document. We went and got Malaika at the orphanage. Our guide had called the minister’s office only to find that the only person who can take care of our documents was out on an emergency. She was supposed to be back that night and our guide called her and asked her to call us when she returned. In the meantime, we were to go to the embassy to get some forms filled out. This is where the confusion came in. We are not world travelers and we have never adopted before so we just had no idea why we were there or what to say or who to say it to! Our guide explained though and then we felt that we understood more. The embassy doesn’t usually issue the documents unless you have the travel document, but they are only open on Tues. and Thurs. and since Thurs. is New Years, they were very accommodating and helped us early because our tickets were to fly out on New Years. They were so friendly. We had no problems. After that, we went souvenir shopping and got some great deals! We had to take Malaika back to the orphanage after all of this. It was so hard this time. She cried a little when we laid her down. We had a nice dinner on the patio with live music at our hotel. And get this, I had a sunburn in December! Woo hoo! (Actually it was just a tiny one on my shoulders…but still exciting when it is 23 degrees at home!) Oh and I have not had a good night’s sleep yet!

Day 5

Today was really crazy. We got up early and went and got Malaika. We found out that the person at the ministry was still not back yet. We were going to have to change our tickets from Thursday (because this is Wed. now and we do not have a travel doc) to Sunday. We were promised that we would have the document by Friday. So I won’t go into any detail at all here, but let’s just say that you need to be very careful when booking tickets for an adoption. You do not want to book non-changeable tickets. You need flexible tickets or you'll have to pay $400 like we did. We spent probably 3 hours at the airline trying to get this taken care of. So the highlight of today was when we actually got to come and rest in our hotel room for the first time since we arrived! We put Malaika on the bed (the hard bed) and she loved it! She was rolling all over and having the time of her life. Then she went to sleep and then we had to take her back. Another cool thing about today is that I got to get online! Woo hoo! Today is New Years Eve. A good way to end the year was meeting Malaika!!

Day 6

Today we got up and went to get Malaika. We then made our first outing without our guide. It wasn’t really a big outing but we felt adventurous because we were alone. J We went to Bourbon Coffee, our favorite place that is not really too Rwandan but is a great hangout and really has the best mochas that I have ever had. Starbucks has nothing on them…really!! We spent time there just sitting and chatting, eating muffins and drinking coffee while the kids colored and played. Malaika had a good nap and a bottle. It was great. The rain came in for a little bit and we watched it come and go. We were out on the covered patio on the second floor. After this, we went to the grocery store that is in the same building and picked up some water and toothpaste. We were identified as Americans when we asked for toothpaste. We were told it is very hard to find but then we saw that they had an entire aisle of it! By the way, water is way cheaper at the grocery than at the hotel. Oh and when you go to the grocery store, you have to check your bags before going in. This building also has a restroom and if you use it, be prepared to pay 100RF to the nice man standing by the stairs. This is to keep people from just coming in to use the restrooms. Anyway, after that we went to the hotel room and did laundry while Malaika rolled around on the bed some more. Then it was time to take her back. We ate dinner at the hotel and went to bed. I have one regret from my time in Rwanda and that was on this day. In Rwanda, there are so many people with so many needs. We are trying to stay focused on what we are here to do and the fact that we are using most all of our resources to do it. But also, we remember that each one of these people are created by God and loved by Him and we are to show that love as well. It is a difficult issue to balance for me. Today when we were leaving Bourbon, we had the usual happen, which is people come up and ask for money. Well then a boy came up. He was about 10, I would guess. He asked me for money and then he showed me his arm. He had a large scrape. I should have just gone back in and bought him a band-aid. That is all he wanted…a band-aid. I regret that I told him no. I am going back to see if he is still there and I am bringing band-aids and ointment and a snack for him and his sister. I pray he is there. This is a very big regret for me. I made a bad choice. I cannot stop thinking about it. Why didn't I just go back in and get some band-aids?

Day 7

I was so nervous about this day that I did not sleep at all. I got up early in the morning and met our guide and the driver at 7am. I didn’t wake anyone else. It was just me. We were going to the Minister’s office to try and get the paper. We got there and found that as of 1pm yesterday, the president had made today a holiday. So no offices were open. They took me to pick up Malaika and then back to the hotel. I requested that we just spend the day with Malaika there. I knew we were not going to get to keep her overnight for at least another two days. When we took her back to the orphanage, she cried when I put her down. This in turn almosat made me cry. She has never, ever cried like that before, ever. It’s so hard. Monday can’t come quick enough. I dread dropping her off now. We had pizza at Papyrus, bathed the kids, and went to bed.

FOOD

The food in Rwanda is great! We have not yet had a meal that we didn’t like. We have eaten at many nice places and the prices are pretty much the same as the US…maybe a tiny bit cheaper. I have eaten Tilapia at almost every dinner and even some lunches too! They have wonderful fish here! We can’t get fish like this at home. Even the kids have eaten it several times. They are not usually fish eaters. The first time R had it, she said, “This is the best chicken I have ever had!” It was so funny! Anyway, so tilapia is a big one here. They serve it so many different ways. I have had it grilled, fried—sort of like a fat fish stick, fish kebobs, with sauce, without sauce…many ways and they were all good. Also, we ate at Papyrus a couple of times and they have excellent brick oven baked pizza! (Their tilapia is also good as well!) We are frequenters of Bourbon Coffee, which is as western as it gets but we like to hang out there. By the way, in Rwanda, when you go to eat, plan on spending 2-3 hours at the restaurant. This is typical. It is just the culture and we have become very used to it. It’s nice visiting time and relaxation time. The kids are used to it to and have come to know that if we have not gotten the bill yet, we will be there at least another hour! This has prompted our son to start asking for the bill! Haha! So overall, wonderful food…but I can’t say that we have had a true Rwandan experience in this area. We are very cautious of where we eat with the kids. We have had no stomach problems so far. A few other things that we have had are pineapple (one of our FAVORITE parts of Rwandan food), bananas (also good), papaya, homemade ice cream at Bourbon Coffee (excellent!), and Rwandan tea is also delicious. We had ice in our drinks at the hotel because it is made with “mineral water” which is just basically water that is safe to drink. You can feel free to order Coke or soda at any nice restaurant and it is safe to drink because it is bottled.

Yesterday's Pictures...A Great Day!

2009-01-02T03:45:00.008-05:00

All of these photos were taken yesterday while we were hanging out at the coffee shop except for the first two, which Jeremy just took. Malaika is on my lap asleep while I am blogging!

A Last Minute Holiday

2009-01-02T03:13:00.002-05:00

Please keep praying. Today I got up early and went to the Minister's office only to find that the president had declared today a holiday. Unfortunately, this means that we cannot get our paper today. Our guide did speak with the person from the office that we need and she said that she promises to have it done early Monday morning. Then we will go to get her passport and then we can fly out Monday afternoon. So we are going to change our tickets today and make them for Monday. Luckily for us we have not confirmed our change yet...so the delay that we had at Ethiopian Air the other day when we were trying to change the tickets was for a reason. Please pray that we get everything on Monday!

Please Pray!

2009-01-01T14:02:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone, I enjoyed reading your comments! Thank you for following our journey! I am about to go to sleep because I have to get up early to go to the Minister's office tomorrow. Please, I am asking you to pray that we get our travel document tomorrow. We changed our tickets to Sunday. We have to get it tomorrow. Please pray. God will see it through. Thank you! I have more updates that I will post soon...

Pictures of Our First Two Days!

2009-01-01T00:59:00.013-05:00

Meeting Malaika

Shopping

At the Hotel

Finally able to blog!

2008-12-31T06:58:00.005-05:00

We're here! It took some effort to get our internet up and working well enough to blog. We are here and we are having a great time with Malaika and the kids! Malaika is so wonderful! The first day was rough, we lost all 7 bags...but we got them back and we are having a good time now and we are also making progress on our papers. We were supposed to get our travel document yesterday but we were unable to so we are trying today. Our plane tickets for Addis are for tomorrow but it seems that we may have to extend our stay in Rwanda if we cannot get the paper today. It's okay though because we do not have anything to do for the adoption in Ethiopia until Monday. By the way, Malaika is here in our hotel room and we just put her on the bed and she has discovered how to roll front to back and back to front and she loves it! She is going back and forth and loving it! She has discovered her voice yesterday and today and even had a good belly laugh. Oh what a joy she is!! Anyway, back to our travel, so if we do have to extend our stay, we might get to go to Gisenyi and see lake Kivu. This is a beautiful place. Google the images and you'll see! It is a sandy beach. It is near the mountains.

I have journaled details of our first day here. I will do the others soon. I will try my best to update with pictures tonight.

Day 1:

Today was a very good day and a very bad day all at once. Let me start off by saying that God was with us this entire way. We were blessed so many times on our way to Rwanda. First, we had a few bags that were overweight and the man did not charge us at United, which would have cost us about $150 each. Then we were not seated together. I pleaded with the man to please move our seats and he said it was the day after Christmas and he couldn’t because the flight was totally booked. So we get to our gate and look at our tickets and the man (who seemed kind of cold at the time) had upgraded us to economy plus and we were all together. Then Ethiopian Air, in DC, was weighing everyone’s carry-ons. I was stressed because I knew the kids’ carry-ons were overweight. Do you know that we were the ONLY people in a line of 30 who did not have their carry-ons weighed? The lady looked at them and said they did not look overweight and to go ahead! These are large rolling backpacks…they were bigger then many of the other peoples’ bags. Anyway, that and then the fact that we did not miss our plane to Kigali, which I will talk about later, just made us feel very blessed. We were so so tired when we arrived in Africa. We had only gotten 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours. The plane trip was not a good one for me. I didn’t sleep because I was so busy with R. Then when she would sleep, she would get uncomfortable and start kicking really hard and erratically, which was actually comical looking back but I didn’t think so at the time. Anyway, our plane was packed and there was no room at all. We had two groups of 40 on their way over to Kenya for a mission trip. So we get to Kigali, finally, and our bags are not there. Not a single one out of seven. We had a feeling they may not be there. They were tagged wrong in the US by United. They were tagged for Ethiopia. That meant that we would have to get our bags in Ethiopia and recheck them for Kigali. We had no time for that. Our flight was late arriving from DC and we had to run to get on the plane anyway. So we spoke to the baggage supervisor and he ran to try and get them switched for us. We ran and got on the packed bus that takes you to the plane just as it was leaving. So the luggage was not there. We filed a baggage claim. I was so upset though, picturing all of those diapers we had brought for the orphanage just sitting in some airport or something. Rwanda was awesome though and really took an interest in finding our bags. They were like that with all of the people who were there trying to find their bags. This made the filing process long and we were so tired, the kids were misbehaving because they were so exhausted. So anyway, we were sick over the bags. Then we went to get Malaika and that was the greatest most wonderful thing ever. We did not go into the orphanage on this day. She is so wonderful. She smiles a lot! She likes to grab at everything and is constantly looking around in all directions. The babies do not get to leave the baby room so that explains her curiosity. She was touching our faces and looking intently at us. She was amazing. We only got to see her for about 25 minutes and then it was time to go. We went to our hotel after that and slept for a long time. At the end of the day, I laid in bed very upset and wondering how we would survive the next two weeks with nothing. We were sleeping in our clothes. I was so tired that I think I was more emotional than I usually am. Since then though, I have definitely gained such an appreciation for Rwanda. I love the people here. I love the hills. The way everyone is always out congregating. We have also met other Americans who are so friendly and sweet. Rwanda is such a great country. They really have the best interest of their people in mind. The people are really proud of their country. When you are here, you look around and there are people literally everywhere…but no litter like in the US. This country is very clean. The service in the restaurants is good too…and the food is great. I’ll talk about food and weather in my next blog.

TRANSPORTATION:
Oh transportation in Rwanda! Wow, how do you explain it? I guess the phrase that comes to mind is organized chaos. Really. People drive around honking their horns and there are almost no stop signs. It really is amazing that this system works…but I have to say that it is way more efficient than the system we have in the US. Mainly because Rwanda has the highest population density in Africa so people are literally everywhere…I mean they are EVERYWHERE! They walk mostly. At any given time, there are just people walking, standing, talking, selling, waving…they are just everywhere. So this method works for them because if you were always stopping, you would never get anywhere here. Also, this country isn’t called the land of a thousand hills for nothing! There are hills everywhere, big ones. I am going to take a picture of the road we have to go down to get to the orphanage…it is so funny! It is a dirt road with 2 ft. erosion areas throughout the entire road. You wouldn’t believe the cars that go down it! Some of them bottom out the whole way but they just keep going! Yesterday we saw a motorcycle going down! And this is on a steep hill! We have not seen a wreck yet, not a single one. So that is transportation in Rwanda...an adventure,very efficient, but scary for beginners!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T12:48:00.002-05:00

We are finishing up our packing and getting ready for Christmas. We're ready to go! Friday is almost here...finally! I can't even imagine what it will be like to finally hold our baby girl! I hope I can update my blog at least a few times while we are gone. Have a great Christmas!

It's Almost Here!!

2008-12-21T12:44:00.003-05:00

We are so excited! We have the plane tickets and we are leaving Friday morning EARLY!!! Yay! Our trip will be a little longer because of the New Year's holiday. We will be home Friday the 9th, sometime in the afternoon. We are getting things finished up here and ready to go.

My grandma's funeral was nice. It was difficult to say goodbye, but we are so glad that we were able to be here. God's timing for our travel was purposeful and perfect. We couldn't ask for more from our loving Father. He is always looking out for us. Praise God! The priest said something neat. He said that my grandma was upset when the doctor told her that she should not come to church until after Christmas because of the risk that she might get sick. He said that perhaps God had answered her prayers to come to church before Christmas afterall. She did not have to spend Christmas wishing she were able to be at church...or worse, sitting in a hospital bed. That would have been so sad for her. She had not missed a family Christmas gathering yet! I am thankful for God's mercy. We will really miss her this Christmas!

Travel Dates

2008-12-18T09:52:00.003-05:00

We have confirmed most of our plane tickets (there are two that we are still trying to get). It looks like we will be at the airport at 4 am Friday, Dec. 26. and return home Thursday, Jan. 8. I think these dates will work out well for us. My grandmother passed away this morning and we will be able to attend her services. We all spent the day at the hospital yesterday and we are so glad that we did.

Change of Plans

2008-12-16T20:32:00.004-05:00

I think a change of plans is expected at this point, right? We were unable to get our appointment for the 22nd in Rwanda, which we needed in order to be able to leave this week. Instead, we have an appointment on the 29th. This puts us leaving the day after Christmas. Of course, things could change at any moment...but I think we are buying plane tickets tomorrow so the travel dates should be pretty secure after that. All of our appointments are set as of now, I believe.

Today, my grandmother took a turn for the worse and it appears that there is nothing more the doctors can do for her. Sadly, she is dying. We are going to be with our family during this time. (See how God was watching out for us? I was sure that God had a reason for the previous delays.) I so wanted for her to meet the baby, but she did get to see lots of pictures. I thank God that Julie was able to get those. My grandma had her own set, which she was very protective of. I will miss her.

Officially Wilhelm Party of 5!

2008-12-15T13:10:00.009-05:00

The court papers were ready today and we are officially Malaika's parents!!! Yipeee! What a great feeling! God is good! We are expected to leave at the end of this week, most likely Thursday or Friday...so Christmas in Africa is a go. It isn't what we were expecting, but God was looking out for us. My grandma is in the hospital and we need this time to go and be with her. Plus both of the kids are sick right now! I am hoping my grandma and the kids are doing much better in a few days. I cannot wait to hold my Malaika! Here is what you have all been waiting for: Pictures! Enjoy!

This last one is our friend, Julie. They picked up their daughter a few weeks ago and were able to hold Malaika and get lots of pictures! :D

Christmas Thoughts

2008-12-13T21:10:00.005-05:00

Our contact was unable to get the papers again on Friday. She will be going back on Monday to try again.

I was thinking about Christmas. We had originally wanted so badly to be home for Christmas. Tonight I was thinking about the possibility (and likelihood) of spending Christmas in Africa. I was thinking about why I want to be home and what things would be like if we were not. I guess the reason I want to be home is that family is very important to me...and this is one time each year that I get to see them. I want Malaika to be a part of our family's Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve. It is her very first Christmas. I also want the family to meet her and our family does not get together very often. On the other hand, when I think about spending Christmas in Africa, I think of what a wonderful opportunity this would be for our family to forget about presents, forget about driving from one house to another, forget for a moment about traditions...and focus on Christmas. Christmas is not about these things, as wonderful as they are and as special as they are to me. We will be able to think about the birth of Jesus Christ, our savior. We all know that this is really what Christmas is all about, but we rarely have 10 minutes to think about this as we rush through our holiday plans. I think Christmas in Africa will be wonderful. We will never forget the first Christmas that we spend together as a family, regardless of where in the world we are.

Update

2008-12-12T20:04:00.003-05:00

I guess the update is that we are not leaving tomorrow. We probably won't leave until Wednesday, in my opinion. We found out late last night that our contact went to get the ruling on Thursday, but the papers were not ready yet. She was going to go back today but again, there were communication issues so we do not know whether or not she was able to get the court papers. If she did, that is good. All we need now is to get our appointments and our reservations and we can go. The bad thing is that if all of this happens on Monday, we will not be able to fly out until Tuesday, one of two days that our airline does not make the flight. So this is why I am thinking we will most likely not leave until Wednesday. I know that God has a plan. I think I have an idea of why this has worked out this way, but it is more information than I can share here. I'll update again as soon as we know anything more.

Communication Issues

2008-12-11T16:38:00.002-05:00

I have no updates. Our agency has been unable to reach our contact in Rwanda. We don't know if we are Malaika's offical parents yet or not. We still do not know if we are leaving this weekend. Today has not been a very good day. :(

One Step Closer

2008-12-09T14:46:00.002-05:00

I think that we are one step closer to leaving this weekend...we do not know for sure though. Our contact in Rwanda met with the judge today. We will get the court ruling on Thursday. We may or may not be able to travel on Friday. It just depends on whether or not we can get the appointments we need AND get our ruling on Thursday. If we cannot get our appointments, we cannot buy plane tickets. Oh the agony of waiting!!! You know how when you are late for something and you catch yourself shaking your foot? I keep finding myself doing that...like, "I'm late for Africa!"

Something I Needed To Hear

2008-12-05T21:23:00.000-05:00

Court Rescheduled

2008-12-05T13:26:00.002-05:00

Court has been rescheduled for Tuesday. Will we still be able to leave next weekend? We don't know! If things go very very smoothly with court and the ruling is Thursday, we may be able to buy tickets on Thursday and leave on Saturday or Sunday. This is going to cost more (if we can even get tickets) being such short notice. And we will need to have everything in both countries done before the 24th because it will all be closed then. We are possibly going to have to reconsider taking the kids. This stinks because not only are they all packed, teachers informed, and all the things to keep them busy for two 18 hour flights and two weeks in a place with no toys has been bought...but they are also totally excited about going. I hope they can still come. We'll have to wait and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, we'll know it just wasn't God's plan for them to come. We know that God is going to work this all out just the way it is supposed to happen. Please keep praying that we can be home with Mali for Christmas. We are so appreciative of the support that everyone has given us during this time.

Delay

2008-12-04T14:09:00.003-05:00

Well, court did not happen. The judge was not there. I'm trying to remember that it is in God's hands. They are trying to work out a new date at this time. There is still a chance for us to leave late next week. We just need huge prayers right now. We want to be home for Christmas with Malaika. This was very hard news to hear today. Please pray for all of this to happen in God's perfect timing.

Court is...TOMORROW!!

2008-12-02T15:30:00.002-05:00

Yipee!!! Court is tomorrow and we should have the ruling hopefully by Friday! We are aiming to fly out next Thursday. That is, if we can get reservations. The flights From Addis, Ethiopia (where our layover is) to Kigali, Rwanda were booked for Saturday and Sunday when we checked. We would need to book that flight on Friday. Prayers needed that something will be available please!! Four tickets may be hard to come by this time of year. Thank you for your prayers!

inlovewith4 sent you a video: "Hope Now Music Video"

2008-11-30T21:37:00.002-05:00

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inlovewith4 has shared a video with you on YouTube: Hey everyone! This is a test message. I am taking advantage of YouTube while we're away and posting our videos this way. Why? Because it's so easy! We can make our videos using the "Quick Capture" option on YouTube and the webcam. Then I just email the YouTube video to Blogger and it posts to my blog. I won't even have to download it. Just click the video below to watch it. This is one of my favorite songs. The video is just okay...but the song is awsome! Enjoy! Hope Now Music Video Addison Road music video for "Hope Now."
© 2008 YouTube, LLC

Excitement!

2008-11-29T18:35:00.002-05:00

Things are getting so exciting for us now. We had so much fun shopping for Christmas presents for the kids this weekend. Shopping for three is something new! I can't believe that Mali should be here with us in our home by Christmas!!! J was showing me how he was going to help her open her presents on Christmas. He is so sweet. He is going to be a really great big brother to Mali...he is already a great big brother to R. She is also really excited and has informed me that she will be changing the diapers! ha! (She has had lots of practice on her baby dolls!)

I really really wish you all could see the pictures of Mali. I have 30 pictures of her all together now. They are hanging all over our house. The kids carry them around too. She is smiling in a few of them and she is all gums...so cute! Our friend told us that she smiles easily. She looks like such a happy baby. She has beautiful eyes and perfect little baby lips. Her cheeks are begging to be kissed and snuggled...they are so cute! She has no hair, just fuzz. Her tiny hands and cute little toes are the best! We just love her. I can't wait to hold her and play with her.

Court should be completed this week. I'll update soon!

Act of Adoption--Check!

2008-11-26T16:45:00.001-05:00

We heard today that the Act of Adoption was completed! We still have not heard when our court date is. I hope we hear before the end of the week...we'll see!

Act of Adoption Not Today

2008-11-24T21:20:00.002-05:00

The Act of Adoption was unable to be completed today due to one person not being available for a signature. It has been rescheduled for tomorrow. We think we are now looking at a travel date around Dec. 12. We will most likely be on a 10-day itinerary, so that will hopefully put us back home right before Christmas. It would have been nice to be back a little sooner so that we could get Mali to the doctor and get over the jet lag before Christmas. Bummer. It's all in God's timing. I know it will work out ok.

Act of Adoption: Monday!

2008-11-21T20:17:00.007-05:00

The Act of Adoption is scheduled for this coming Monday. Hopefully court will be before the end of the week. Basically, the Act of Adoption is the piece of paper that names us as the baby's parents...but it is not "official" until the judge looks it over and rules in favor of it. (Thanks Tina, for the explanation!) We will make travel arrangements after the judge gives the thumbs up that we are Malaika's official mommy and daddy. We are hoping to be on a plane December 5th on our way to Rwanda (big emphasis on "hoping").

This trip is going to be interesting with our two kids coming along! The good news...wait, the GREAT news is that I actually got all of those 500 diapers and 250 diaper covers, 300 Snappis, the baby stuff, the clothes, Malaika's diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, cereal, medicines...EVERYTHING into 6 large suitcases, each weighing almost exactly 50 lbs!! Wow! I can't believe it. I really wish I would have taken a picture of the room before I packed it all. I was so stressed out about it and I didn't even think to do that. Looking back, I now think it is pretty funny...me sitting in a room literally surrounded by piles of diapers and covers and baby stuff, trying to remember where I put the suitcase! ha! You are probably thinking I am way ahead of myself...that is just how I function. It would've been bothering me for the next week if I hadn't started it early. I have been working on it for two weeks so it's probably good that I started early. All I have to add now is a few more clothing items and our documents and we are ready to go!

We also have to go back to the doctor for one more travel shot...ugh! Our pediatric travel doc said we do need the meningitis vaccine after all. If we were just traveling to Rwanda, we would not need it because we are not traveling during the dry season; however, since we are also going to Ethiopia, we will need the vaccine. The kids especially need it. Our doc wrote all 5 of us scripts for anti-malarials (meds that keep you from getting Malaria) and for antibiotics. In his words, "If you get diarrhea, you ate something you shouldn't have. Take these antibiotics and it will go away." In Kinyarwanda, the term for having this experience is ndwaye inzoka—or, I have amoebas. This makes me laugh for some reason! I sure hope none of us get amoebas!

One last thing, our friends, the ones who left to get their baby girl last Friday, they are already on their way home! Can you believe it!? We were originally told our trip would be 2-4 weeks. They were only gone about 1 week! I don't know that we will be this lucky. Things seem to go faster for them than they do for us. It is very cool for them though!

One Year Ago...

2008-11-17T14:35:00.008-05:00

I have been keeping a journal of our adoption journey for one year now. It is so amazing to see the things that God has done in one short year and the ups and downs that have occured. Here is the very first journal entry:

11/11/2007 Our Adoption Journey Begins

Well, technically I think the past two weeks have marked the beginning of our journey to grow our family through adoption. It all began on Friday, October 26, 2007. Jeremy and I went to help set up for the Todd Agnew concert at church. We were invited to attend the concert free of charge because we had volunteered. We explained that we had kids and we would probably not be able to come. On a whim, we decided at the last moment to ask Jeremy's parents if they could watch the kids so that we could go. Jeremy was going to help tear down after the concert anyway so we thought we might as well go. The concert was great. Todd Agnew talked about the AIDS crisis in Africa, which has left millions of children parentless. My heart went out to them while he spoke, but it was during a short video that I felt the holy spirit move in me. First of all, let me back up a minute and say that several months before this, my prayers sounded something like this:

"Dear God, I am so glad to have the relationship that I have with you. You have blessed us beyond anything we could have ever hoped for. I have a great husband, two beautiful, sweet kids, and a wonderful family. Why do I feel like something is missing from my life, Lord? I look around myself and I see people who have done so much for you. People who have changed the world through you. But what have I done for you, Lord? I want more than anything to be an instrument for you. I want to do something for you with my life. Please Lord, let me help you in some way. I am open. I will do whatever you ask of me because you know me and you know my weaknesses and my strengths. You have a plan for my life. Please reveal your plan to me."

So that was my prayer. When I prayed this, I didn't really have anything specific in mind. Would it be missions? Something at church? My job? I had no idea. Anyway, back to the video...as I watched, I felt the holy spirit moving in me. The video was not about adoption. It was a World Vision video for Zimbabwe. But something said to me at that moment, "You need to help the orphans of Africa." My first adoption thought. I wasn't totally receptive at first. We decided to sponsor two children, Roy and Mary, and hopefully help improve their quality of life while teaching them about the love of Jesus. As I was looking at the World Vision website, I saw a link for adoption. I didn't click it. Thinking back to that moment, I remember that tiny link stood out on the screen like a big banner "ADOPT". A couple of days later, I clicked it. There were a few websites, but nothing that really interested me. I decided to bring up the subject with Jeremy and see how he felt about looking into it. We had been trying to get pregnant for about 5 months. For some reason, the notion of being pregnant just didn't feel the same as it did with our other pregnancies...no emotion or excitement about it really. Now I know why! When I brought up the subject of adoption, Jeremy said he thought it would be really neat. I asked him if he could love an adopted child just as we love our biological children. Without any hesitation, his answer was "Yes." I felt the same. After further discussion, we found that recently we had both felt like God was pulling us in the direction of adoption--something we had never really discussed in 8 1/2 years of marriage. Later I remembered my prayer. I knew in my heart, this was God's answer. We can give a child unconditional love, food, shelter, education, medical care, and most importantly, we can teach her about the love of God, our adoptive father. There is only one thing standing in the way. International adoption is expensive and we do not have the money. We are still trying to get caught up from the debt of Jeremy's career change. We know that when God wants something to happen, it happens. We have no doubt in our minds that God is going to make this happen. It is an exciting feeling to know God is about to work a miracle in your life...you just aren't sure how. I can't wait to add to this journal about how God has changed our lives and the life of one precious baby forever.

To my precious unborn baby: I feel like you are alive now. I pray that your mother is well and that you are being taken care of. I can't wait to hold you close and keep you safe. God is with you, my love.

Things have changed so much since I wrote this one year ago! I am happy to say that God has been faithful and has provided all of the funds needed for this adoption so far. He also led us to our daughter's country when we thought that we knew better. He has shown me that my life has purpose beyond my immediate surroundings...and that I need to rely on Him to fufill that purpose. Another thing that He has shown me is that this is only the beginning!

Malaika

2008-11-12T23:50:00.004-05:00

We are so excited! Our friends are leaving Friday to go to Rwanda and bring their baby girl home! While they are there, they are taking some things that I sent to Malaika: a blanket, a bunny, a toy, and a picture book of us. My friend has promised to try and get a few pictures for me and to give Malaika some snuggles. I talked to the agency representative today and he said that we are now in the process of scheduling court! Yahoo! Little Malaika Rae will be our new daughter soon!

Our baby girl!!!

2008-11-08T08:37:00.005-05:00

We finally got our referral! She is a gorgeous little baby girl. Her name is Malaika (muh-LYE-kuh), which means "angel"! We are thinking about keeping her name and calling her "Mali" (pronounced like Molly). She really is an angel. So beautiful! She was born July 1, 2008. She weighs 11 lbs. Unfortunately we cannot post pictures yet since she is not officially our daughter until after court. We are so excited to be moving forward! We are now going to be waiting for our court date to be scheduled. Our friends passed court on Thursday and are traveling this coming Friday...how exciting!!

Something that is amazing to me is that our daughter was conceived the very same month that we went to the concert that ultimately led us to adopt. I believe this was God's plan from the beginning. God is good!

Another Update

2008-10-24T20:39:00.003-04:00

Well we were hoping that we would have received the referral by today because my sister is having a baby shower for me on Sunday. I received an email today from our agency that said unfortunately there are still a couple of medical tests that have not come back yet so we will not have the referral before the shower. Boo hoo! I am still glad to hear that all they are waiting for is these couple of tests though. I feel like we are getting closer and closer. By the way, a friend of a friend just passed court and has adopted two little boys!! Yay! It's exciting to hear that others are making progress. Someday it will be us passing court!

I praise God for all that He has done to make everything happen with this adoption. The fundraiser has totally exceeded anything that I ever thought was possible. I have to thank Heather at NoPins4Baby.com. She has gone way out of her way to get donations for this fundraiser from her suppliers. She has given us a huge, huge discount too. Thanks to her, we have received donations from Snappi and Bummis (the diaper cover company). We have ordered 40 dozen diapers in various sizes. We ordered 250 diaper covers in various sizes also, plus the donations from them. And we ordered 100 Snappis (and 200 additional were donated). Ordering these items was our original goal...but we still had an excess of $800! We are running out of luggage space! Next, we ordered 132 pairs of socks in pink, blue, and yellow. And finally, we ordered about 70 white onsies in two sizes. And we still have $400 left! I think we are going to spend that on rompers or toys...or both. I can't believe how much we were able to get! God is so awesome! There is no doubt in my mind that He totally made this happen. I cannot wait to give these supplies to the babies and caregivers at Home of Hope. I have never done anything so exciting in my life!

We are making a collage of the people who made all of this possible for the orphanage. Please email or send me a picture so that I can include you in the collage if you donated to the fundraiser!!! It will mean so much to the orphanage caregivers to see the number of people who care about them...even being on the other side of the world!

Snappi Donation!

2008-10-22T22:44:00.011-04:00

We are so excited! Snappi is donating 200 Snappi diaper fasteners for us to give to the orphanage in addition to the 100 that we bought. That should last them awhile! Snappi's are a cool diaper-pin alternative. On the bigger babies, the cloth diaper can be folded and tucked into the diaper cover, which then snaps on the sides and holds the diaper in place. Snappis are great for the tiny babies that cannot wear the diaper tucked into the diaper cover like the bigger ones can.

In the midst of all this cloth-diaper research, we have decided to cloth diaper our new little one. I ordered a Snappi so that I could check it out and see how it worked. I'm happy to report that works really well! I babysit my 13 month old niece on Mondays. This week when she came over, I thought I'd try the sample cloth diaper that I had ordered to see if it would leak or not. She was so amused when I put it on her! I fastened it with the Snappi and we played for quite a while. It stayed on really well with no leaks whatsoever. As a matter of fact, I couldn't even tell if she was wet or not. I went to change her and yep...you guessed it, poo! So it withstood the ultimate test with no leaking and easy clean up. Yay! Most of the diapers we are going to use have snaps, but we did order a few that we could use our Snappi with also.

We should have more information soon so be on the lookout for more updates!

Update: Medical Testing

2008-10-20T21:03:00.003-04:00

We were informed today that a child has been identified for us and that the baby is undergoing medical testing now. The test results will be received in about 4-5 days. Then any non-English documents must be translated and reviewed by the agency. We should have our baby girl's information soon! I am so glad to have this update.

Ups and Downs

2008-10-10T21:16:00.005-04:00

Wow what a great week this has been! In my life, sometimes everything just goes absolutely crazy and I can barely concentrate long enough to get an entire thought finished...and then suddenly it's like all the noise turns into a beautiful orchestra and it all just comes together. That has been my life for the past month! This week was the orchestra part though! I love how God just brings it all together to show you that he had it all worked out from the start. I had SO much going on. The fundraiser began as a $5 donation...literally. Jeremy and I sat and stared at that donation after 1 week had passed, wondering if we should just return it to the giver. We thought to ourselves that there was no possible way we could turn $5 into $2700 in one month...especially given that a week had passed and that was the only donation we had! Well guess what! We have officially EXCEEDED our goal by about $800 and the donations are still coming in! Praise God! What started with one small donation and a feeling of helplessness to provide for these babies, ended with a surplus and now we are praying about what the best option is for us to use this extra money on! More diapers? Medication? Bottles? We want to be good stewards of this money...it is so important that we get it right!

I am so thankful to everyone who helped us with this huge project. I have never done anything like this before. So many sleepless nights and tears about this fundraiser...but God is faithful and he used this experience to grow my faith to new heights! I hope that others will experience that same effect as well.

So that is the positive part of this update...now for our adoption update, which is just basically nothing. Our friends (who were at the same point in their Rwandan adoption as us) received their referral last week...which is really wonderful! However, despite the excitment of the fundraiser, things are so bittersweet for me right now because we are just waiting day by day for news of our baby girl. Who she is, what she looks like, how healthy she is...these are all questions that I feel I might just go crazy if I don't find answers to soon! (Which would be bad because then we would have to update the homestudy and oh...not good! :D ) The waiting has been so much more difficult than I had expected. At first, for me the waiting was not bad. It would be months. I went on with my life. Then it would be weeks. Still no probelm. I went on with my life. But now...now is the hard part. We are expecting something any day...any HOUR. My entire life is on hold. J couldn't sign up for football. I had to get a replacement for my job. I am so afraid to plan anything. Being gone for a month is a BIG deal. Everything is on hold. At times I feel like a fool. Other times, I feel guilty for not having more faith. The bottom line is, I know that the God of the universe is in charge of this adoption. He will not let us down. Psalms 121 sums it all up. (Thanks for reminding me, Julie!)

I know it will all work out for us soon.

News This Week: First Grade, Shower, and Power of Attorney

2008-10-04T15:31:00.005-04:00

We will be Wilhelm party of 5 soon! We are getting out R's old baby girl clothes and getting the baby's room ready. My sister is having a shower for me, which is so exciting! I haven't had a shower in 7 years! She even set up a registry for me at Babies R Us so I could register...how fun! We have had so much fun looking at all the baby stuff and just getting back into baby mode. R will be 4 on Halloween, so it's been a while for us!

Wednesday I went to J's first grade class and taught the kids about adoption. One of the kids in his class is adopted so her mother helped me talk to the kids. It went really well. We also made a goal for the kids to raise enough money to give 20 diapers to Home of Hope. They are so excited! I had fun teaching the first graders about adoption. I think it was a topic that they had all heard of but were not quite sure what the facts were.

One last thing, our power of attorney is FINALLY on its way to Rwanda. It takes 3-4 days to get there so it should be there by Thursday at the lastest...I hope! Our agency rep picked it up from the embassy yesterday and told me it was on its way...quickly! I think they may be waiting on it in order to take the baby for medical testing. Please pray that this process does not take too long!

More updates to come soon...

Home of Hope Fundraiser: Changing Lives!

2008-09-28T14:49:00.004-04:00

I promised I would fill you all in on our Home of Hope fundraiser. Through this adoption, we have become painfully aware that there are many more needs in Africa than we are ever going to be able to meet. At the same time, it is obvious that we Americans are blessed beyond measure. I think that when we see a need that can be met by rallying friends, family, and fellow Christians, we should make whatever small sacrifices it takes to fill that need.

There is an orphanage in Rwanda called The Home of Hope. It is home to 450 children. Approximately 100 of these little ones are under 2 years of age. The orphanage currently has NO diapers. That's right...none! They are using torn sheets tied around the babies for now. It is our mission to fill this need and provide 500 cloth diapers and 250 covers for the babies and caregivers at Home of Hope.

If you google "cloth diapers" you will find many varieties, but what will surprise you is how expensive they are...some as much as $20 for one!!! We have to buy something that will last and something that does not use pins. God has had His hand in this fundraiser from the start. We met a wonderful stay-at-home mom who sells cloth diapers and told us what the least expensive, yet durable cover would be. The cloth diaper tucks inside and it snaps closed, so no need for pins! She is also giving us an $800 discount on our order! The total that we need to raise is $2600. We need to raise this money by October 10th...so not much time!

Donations to our efforts are tax-deductible. If you are interested in helping us accomplish this HUGE goal, please email me at arwilhelm21@yahoo.com for information on how you can make a donation.

Also, please pray for these babies and kids. Pray that God would allow the doors of adoption to be opened in Rwanda so that they may someday have the love of a family.

Thank you for your help!!

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Update: A Friend Gets Pics and RedEx Drops The Ball

2008-09-26T14:24:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone, I have been SO extremely busy with our Home of Hope fundraiser that I have not had two minutes to update my blog so I finally made time. I will discuss the fundraiser in my next blog!

After our approval, we were told that we needed to redo our power of attorney due to the fact that when we sent it in, we did not know who the power of attorney for the adoption would be, so we left the name blank. When we found out who it was, it was supposed to be filled in but apparently there was a problem somewhere along the line so we had to redo it. Anyway, we needed to get it there asap so that our referral would not be held up waiting for this document. So Friday, 9/19, after going to the bank to have the new p.o.a. notarized, we rush downtown in the rain to the Secretary of State's office. They certified it for us and then we left and went to RedEx to have the document overnighted to the agency. (I am saying RedEx so that one day when my blog is famous, I will not get sued!) Keep in mind that this is Friday and I am "overnighting" the document to get there by 10am Monday morning. $30 later, we are done. Monday goes on by and I assume that the document is there. Tuesday, I get a call from the agency. No document. RedEx called (9:30am Tuesday) to let them know that the document would be late...no kidding! Did RedEx call ME, the sender, to let me know it would be late? No. So I go back to RedEx and kindly ask them for a refund. Why was I so upset? Well, the guy from our agency was going to receive the document Monday and take it to D.C. to be authenticated and then drop it off at the Rwandan Embassy that very same day. It would be there for a week and finally sent off to Rwanda. Since he didn't receive it until Tuesday, he couldn't go to D.C. until Thursday. The embassy people were at a conference until the following Wednesday! So this actually put us back a week and a half! Anyway, back to RedEx... I go. I tell them I need a refund. They say they will find out why it was late...I really don't care why, I just need a refund. Finally, someone from "corporate" called me and let me know that the document had been "overlooked" and they would issue a refund. Argh. Ok, so now we sit and hope that this document, which is still at the embassy here in the US, doesn't cause any delays for us.

Next Update: Our friend's friend is also adopting from Rwanda and we have been at almost the same pace throughout the process so far. She got her approval a few days after us and last Friday, their friend took the paperwork to the orphanage. Wednesday she received an email with pictures of her little boys!!! They are the most adorable little boys! They do not know the ages yet. I can't wait until we get our baby's information! Our agency told us that we will not get any information until the medical testing and all of those types of things are complete. Basically, we will get everything at once...medical, pictures, name, and age. I sure hope it is soon!! I feel like God is giving us this extra time so that we can complete our fundraiser for the babies at Home of Hope...like I said though, more on that later!

Well my two minutes is up! Thank you all for your prayers and support. I will have more updates soon!

APPROVED!!!!

2008-09-11T14:29:00.003-04:00

It's official!!! We got the call today and we are approved! I can't believe it! I am in shock. I'm going to be a mommy again! Wait...all the things I said I would do when we got our approval...I have to do them now! We are so blessed! We are probably going to be traveling with our friends! How wonderful it will be to share our journey with them!

Now we are waiting for a baby to be referred to us. We will get a picture and medical information from the orphanage. Then when we accept the referral, we will wait for the Act of Adoption to be completed (this is the court hearing, from what I understand). We have a power of attorney from the agency standing in for us at the Act of Adoption. Then we can get our baby!!! The hardest part will be waiting to get her from the time we get the referral to travel.

Please pray that God will bring the child that is supposed to join our family to us. We know that with His help, the right baby will be part of our family soon!!! Thank you to everyone for your prayers!

Not Our News, But It's Still News!

2008-09-09T22:06:00.003-04:00

Today the agency called us and said, "There is a family ahead of your family and they have moved to the next phase in their adoption, so your family is next in line for an approval." Actually, a couple of hours earlier I was on the phone with Julie (the "other" mommy) cheering and celebrating about her approval. I think at first when she told me, I was totally flabbergasted. It really seemed like this day would never come! It isn't even our approval but it still didn't seem like it would come! Tomorrow the agency's contact in Rwanda will be going to some orphanages with paperwork to start making contacts. How wonderful for them!!

So the next step for us is to be approved (God willing!) and then we will await our precious baby's referral! We could have our baby's picture in the next couple of months! Then will come the hard part!!

Please pray for our approval!

An Adoption Story Our Family Loves

2008-08-22T14:20:00.009-04:00

Our family recently read a great children's book about adoption. It is called "The Red Thread: An Adoption Fairy Tale" by Grace Lin. The story is based on an old Chinese proverb. A king and queen are searching to find a cure for the mysterious pain that they have in their hearts. People come from all over to try and cure their pain, but nothing that they try will work. One day, a peddler stops at the castle and gives the king and queen a pair of magic glasses so that they can see what is causing the pain in their hearts. When they put the glasses on, they see a mysterious red thread coming from their hearts. It is twisted and tangled and leads out of the castle door and even out of the kingdom. The peddler informs them that the only way to stop the pain is to follow the thread and to see what is on the other end. So the king and queen set out on a journey through far and distant lands that they have never seen before. They are tired, their clothes are worn and dirty, but they continue on. Finally they come to a small Chinese village. Still following the thread, they enter a hut where they can finally see what is on the other end of the string...a baby! The baby is theirs and their hearts no longer ache because they have found what is on the other end of the red thread. After reading this book, our son said, "Mommy, we all (our family) have a red thread and our baby sister is on the other end!" I love that he made the connection! Often times, my heart does ache for our little girl to be here with us safe and warm. It will be nice when we are together...all in God's time.

Calling Rwanda!

2008-08-01T15:07:00.015-04:00

I have never been more nervous in my entire life! I was so afraid that I would not be able to understand the person I was calling in Rwanda. She is the Minister's assistant and a large part of our approval is in her hands it seems. I prayed and prayed before making this phone call that I would be able to understand her and that she would be able to understand me. I have heard others talk about how difficult it is to hear and understand due to bad connections and language barriers...but guess what! I understood her and she understood me!! Thank you, God! There was a time or two that I was totally lost but then suddenly she would start speaking more clearly and I understood. Anyway, so you want to know what I found out, right!? Well here is a summary of my daily calls this week:

Monday: Called the cell phone number I was given and got through on the very first try! It was 10:15am our time (4:15pm Rwandan time) so unfortunately she informed me that she was not at work and that I would need to call back in the morning. After hanging up I was thinking, "Their morning or our morning!?" This leads us to long day number two.

Tuesday: I figured that I should probably assume she meant their morning, so I set my alarm for 3am and began calling. This is 9am Rwandan time. No answer. 4am, no answer. 5am, no answer. 6am and 7am, no answer. FINALLY at 8am our time I got an answer. After she took down my name, she told me to call back in 10 minutes so that she could try to locate our paperwork. So I called back in 10 minutes and she answered the first try. She said that she could not locate the paperwork and had to ask someone (who's name I didn't catch). She said to call back tomorrow.

Wednesday: I called back starting at 7:30am our time. I called several times and never got an answer. Bummer!!!

Thursday: I called beginning at 7:30am again and on my last try at 9:45am, she answered! She told me that she found our dossier and that there were other files ahead of ours. She said to call back in 2 to 3 weeks. This is great! We now know that everything is where it should be and that we are at least in line for review. This is a relief to me. Our conversation was pleasant and friendly. I feel much more comfortable calling her now than I did that first time!

Interesting: A phone call to Rwanda using your home phone may cost you about $8 per minute; however, you can buy a phone card and call there for only $0.55 per minute!

Thanks for keeping up with us!

Waiting...NO FUN!

2008-07-27T23:25:00.003-04:00

So you guessed it...we are waiting!!! Wow, all this waiting has made me realize how incredibly, fantastically, wonderfully GOOD our God is! No not because He is making us wait. But I have had plenty of time to sit back and consider how we even got here in the first place. It is so amazing! I remember praying that prayer. Something like, "God, I want to do something for you. I am nothing, but you can make me something. I know I will probably never be a missionary or go to Africa or anything, but I want to do whatever you would allow me to do for your kingdom, even if it is just something small in my own church." Well boy was I wrong! I think God probably laughed when He heard me pray that...either that or He said, "Yes you are something. You can do anything through me!" That prayer was way before adoption even entered our minds. As a matter of fact, I had forgotten all about that prayer until long after we were considering adoption! What a totally AWSOME feeling to know that God is working out his plan in our lives. If you have never prayed a prayer like that, you should! Just wait and see what God will do in your life!

So on to the adoption, so much has happened since I last blogged. Rumors are just everywhere and we don't know what to believe. It doesn't matter anyway...whatever God has planned will work out regardless of law changes and denials. I won't get into all of that but here is the important stuff: I plan to call Rwanda this week to check on the status of our paperwork. This could go very well or not so well at all. I know of two people who have made this call recently and each had a totally different experience with the same person from the Ministry. I am praying that we will all have our approvals soon. Until then, we pray that God will watch over our soon-to-be children as they wait for us. Pray for a good outcome for this week's phone call please!!

We are beginning to prepare for travel, although we have no idea when this will occur. You can never start planning too soon for traveling with two kids and a baby halfway around the world, right?! We are collecting cards and small things to occupy the kids on the plane and in the hotel. Oh and one of my biggest blessings yet...J's first grade teacher!! Such an awsome Christian woman! We are so so lucky and blessed to have her this year. First of all, this is J's first year in school (I homeschooled last year for K.). Plus I was nervous to tell her about the trip and that J would miss a few weeks of school. When I told her, she was SO supportive and told us not to worry about school and that he would learn much more from this trip than in a classroom. She said she would like to incorporate the adoption into the class too! I can't tell you the weight lifted off of my shoulders the day that she told me all of these things! All of this is just really showing me how much God loves this family and that He is taking care of us while we carry out His plan.

Financially, God is sooooo good! He has blessed us with everything we need so far. We had a fundraising garage sale a couple of weeks ago in which we ended up making close to $1,000! Can you believe it? We also got all of our vaccinations covered by insurance. We were told by our travel doctor that 99% of his patients' insurance companies do not cover travel vaccinations. This would have cost us almost $1,000 if it were not covered. God is good!

Well that pretty much sums it up for now. I will blog again and tell you about the outcome of this phone call. Thanks for reading!!!

Announcements!

2008-06-03T08:52:00.003-04:00

Hello friends and family! We have a couple of announcements to share with you! First, we have decided that when we travel to Africa, we will be bringing the kids along! We want them to be a part of this big important event in their lives and also to see where their sister is from. This will be such a learning experience, especially for J. Please pray for us as we prepare to travel for a very long time with two young kids...and then again with three!

The second announcement is that we have received our letter from the Rwandan Embassy (which is here in the US) and our dossier is now on it's way to Rwanda!!! This means that we are just waiting for approval from the Minister and then our baby's referral (picture and info) will come shortly after that! We have been told to expect a referral anywhere from 3 to 16 weeks from the time we submit our dossier. We will probably travel within the next month or two after that. Exciting!!!

We really appreciate all of your prayers. Please continue to pray that the Minister will approve our family for adoption from Rwanda if this is God's plan for us. Thank you all for the wonderful support you have given to us. It is comforting to know that we have people who care about us and are praying for us! God is good!

An Adoptive Mother's Perspective

2008-05-11T21:09:00.017-04:00

Adoption is a really wonderful thing. There are so many lessons that it has already taught us about life, about the world, and about God's love for us. It is a blessing to us and it will be a blessing for our new baby girl as well. Unfortunately, there are some losses that come with every adoption. We have learned a lot about the losses that our little girl will deal with as an adopted child and the losses that birth parents often go through as well. This Mother's Day, I realized there are also losses that adoptive parents must face. Sunday as I sat in church, photos of new babies were shown in a dedication video, along with their birthdates and family information. Most of the babies in the photos were less than 6 months old. As I was watching the pictures, I realized all of the moments that I am going to miss with our new daughter. We didn't get to see her come into the world. My mom didn't get to give her her first bath in the hospital, as she did with J and R. We won't see her first smile. I won't be able to nurse her for the first year of her life. Then I think maybe I am a little selfish for having these thoughts. If she is with her birthmother, that is where she needs to be during that time. Maybe God gave them those moments together so that each of them will have some memory of the other, faint as it may be.

The other thought that I have stems from the fact that in Rwanda, "relinquishing" a child is not permitted, as I understand it. This law forces parents to abandon their babies. I hadn't thought a lot about that until recently. Each day, at least once, the thought crosses my mind, "I wonder if today is the day that our daughter will be born...or was it last week? or the one before?" Sometimes I catch myself feeling like maybe I have missed it. It's silly, I know! We will probably never know when our daughter's birthdate is. Why does that matter? The truth is, I can't figure out why that matters to me. I guess because I think about J and R's birthdates. Those days were so special. Those two days were the two happiest days of our lives so far. I also wonder how it will affect her, not knowing that piece of history about her life. Will it matter? Each birthday that we celebrate, will she think about it? Will it make her sad? When we talk about J and R's birth experiences, will she feel left out? I hope that she will be aware that God did something wonderful to bring our family together. Our family will get to celebrate a special day to remind us of this. The day we meet her...that will be another of the happiest days of our lives! We will celebrate that day each year, just as we would a birthday. It will be a deep and meaningful day that we will never, ever want to forget. I can't wait for it to happen!!

I dream about our new daughter. One of my favorite things to do with my two little ones was to hold them on my chest with their tiny heads in the palm of my hand. I would gently rub the back of their heads and kiss the top. I have dreams about doing that with our new daughter. I can practically feel her head in my hand. I can't wait to hold her!

We'll be keeping you all up to date...things are heading to Rwanda very soon!

Adoption Education Part 2: Your Questions Answered!!

2008-05-05T19:23:00.019-04:00

Hi everyone! First an update! We have received the final document for our dossier, the I-171H! We now have everything we need to send to Rwanda. First we will have it authenticated in DC. A friend of mine recently submitted her dossier to be authenticated and this process took 11 days. Next, the dossier will be sent to Rwanda to be translated and approved. We have been told to expect a wait of 3 to 12 weeks from the time the dossier is submitted to get our referral. We will travel shortly after that!!

Inquiring minds want to know! Here are some of the most common questions that we are asked and the answers to them!

How old will your baby be when you bring her home?
We requested an infant age 0-6 months old at the time of referral. Travel could be up to two months after referral and we will be in Africa for about 3 weeks. When we come home, our baby could be as young as 3 months or as old as 9 months.

Will your baby be a US citizen?
Yes! Our baby will be a US citizen upon arrival to the US.

Will your baby be black?
Yes! Our baby will be black. Our baby is from Africa! She will be beautifully black.

Will your baby have AIDS?
Our baby will not have AIDS or be HIV positive. The babies referred are tested two times for various diseases.

What's wrong with the orphans here in the US?
We get asked this a lot. Of course, there is NOTHING wrong with the orphans here in the US! We chose to adopt internationally for various reasons. We do not view either decision as "wrong" or either orphans as superior to the other!

What made you decide to adopt from Africa?
The short version: God wanted us to and made it very clear to us. For the longer version, please read my first few blogs.

Hopefully I have answered most of your questions about our adoption. Please feel free to keep them coming!

Two Months, Two Weeks, and Six Days

2008-04-18T21:56:00.007-04:00

I was just looking at my baby ticker at the top of my blog page and I saw that it says two months, two weeks, and six days since we began this process. It has only been two and a half months???? Wow, it really seems like we have been at this for longer than that. Now that we are pretty much done with the paper chase and we are about to enter the waiting phase, my emotions have changed a lot. In the beginning, there was eagerness and excitement and a feeling of just wanting to hurry and get done so that we could move to the next phase. Now that we are about to submit our paperwork to be denied or accepted by the Rwandan government, there is still the excitement, but now there is some fear and uncertainty lingering around too. I want them to say that we are good enough...but what if they don't? I want them to trust us...but what if they don't? I want them to see that this baby will be so loved by everyone in our family...but what if they don't? These thoughts have been the focus of my prayers over the past several weeks. I know that God will see this through if it is meant to be.

We are now completely finished with the homestudy and it has been sent off to USCIS. As soon as the I-171h arrives, the dossier papers will all be certified here and then sent to DC to be authenticated. After that, they are off to Rwanda to be translated and submitted to the Minister. The Minister will then either accept our family or deny us. If we are accepted, we will then wait for a referral. The referral will be from an orphanage. It will have information about a specific baby, usually a picture and some medical information. We can then either accept or deny the referral. Upon accepting a referral, we will make arrangements to travel within a month or two. On the other hand, if we are denied, we will change a couple of things in our homestudy and submit our dossier to Ethiopia. I hope that we can help open the doors in Rwanda for those precious babies and kids to find families. I pray that God will be with the orphans and their caretakers as they do the very best they can to care for these babies and kids. I also pray that God will help the Minister to make the right decision based on what is best for the babies. Even if we cannot adopt from Rwanda, we will try to help these orphans in some way. We also pray for the many orphans of Ethiopia.

A verse that I have been thinking a lot about lately is Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. To me, this is saying that when our desires are shaped by a delight in the Lord, he will give them to us. The desire to adopt a child was definitely shaped by our delight in the Lord. Actually, I think He gave us the idea! God is faithful and He will see His promise through.

Second Homestudy Meeting...at Our House!

2008-03-16T14:52:00.015-04:00

Yesterday was our second homestudy meeting. This meeting was at our house with the kids present. We worked really hard to get everything ready for our social worker Jennifer to come. For the past two weeks, we have been gradually moving R's room so that she can have a little more space and the baby can be near our room. She loves her new room because she chose all of the decorations. It is pinker than anything I have ever seen, but she was kissing the walls when it was finished so I think she likes it! We also checked the fire alarms and made sure everything was babyproofed. The night before Jennifer was to come, we realized that we did not have every outlet plugged with a cover so Jeremy went out at 12am to get some outlet covers!

In the morning, it was really hard to keep the house picked up for the hour and a half that the kids were awake before Jennifer came! At 9:30 she came and I was so proud because the house was still picked up and the kids were clean! She came in and sat down with us in the great room and we went through some paperwork. Then she asked us several questions...some were really hard! She asked us how we "discuss" things as a couple and Jeremy said, "We don't. I just do whatever she says." I hope she knew he was kidding!! Then she asked how we would define our parenting style and other parenting type questions. The most difficult question she asked us was how we plan to prepare our daughter for the racial issues she will face when she is not with us. That was a hard question, but not because we hadn't thought about it. It is difficult to answer that because it will probably be something that comes as we learn what her personality is like and how she personally deals with things. She also asked us what our views on death and dying were. In the end, she definitely had some really hard questions that made us think. I have to admit, not having thorough, specific answers to every single one made me feel a tiny bit of inadequacy as an adoptive parent. I know that this will be a learning process though.

Ok, back to the visit...so we discussed these types of things for about two hours. (Sidenote #1: Do you suppose they have the meeting in your house, with your kids, while you are pretty much giving your undivided attention to a visitor for that length of time, because they WANT to see your kids throw at least one big fit?) We did have a couple of rampages by R because she wanted something "now". If you have or have ever had a three year old, you probably know what happens when you try to make them wait a minute about 10 times. Then to finish it out, after R's monster fit that landed her in her bed, we did the tour of the house. (Sidenote #2: Do you suppose they do the walk through after two hours of interviewing the parents while the kids roam free so that they can get an idea of how your house REALLY looks?) Yeah, so much for my clean house! R's room had naked Barbies covering the floor and 2-3 changes of clothes coming from inside the closet. By the way, Jennifer was pretty amazed at the pinkness of everything...much to R's delight! Jaden's room wasn't too bad. I was extremely scared when we were entering the bathroom because you NEVER know what will be in there! It turned out ok! So that was pretty much it. It did go well, despite some normal stuff like the fit and the crazy naked Barbie room.

More to come soon!

Our Update

2008-03-14T14:52:00.004-04:00

We have been extremely busy lately so my blog has been a little neglected. Tuesday we had our USCIS "biometrics" taken (otherwise known as fingerprints). This was our third set! We have already received our state background clearances and are still waiting for the local one to come back. Tomorrow we have another homestudy visit. This one will be at our house. Then our last one will be on the 22nd! After that appointment, we will be finished with our homestudy! As soon as we get the written homestudy report from our social worker, we will send it off to the USCIS office and they will then send us our I-171 (I guess in our state it is called an I-797 for some reason.). This is our approval from immigration. We will then have every document (about 15) notarized and state certified at the Secretary of State office. Next, they go to Washington DC to be authenticated. We must also get a Letter of No Objection from the Rwandan Embassy. Our agency takes care of these steps for us. After that, it will all be copied into three full sets: one for the agency, one for Rwanda (sent there along with the original), and one for us. Then it will go to Rwanda and we wait to see if we are approved. So that's where we are right now. More news to come...

Adoption Education Part I: Adoption Talk

2008-03-06T15:49:00.008-05:00

As Jeremy and I learn about adoption and the different situations that we may find ourselves or our children in, we hope to pass the knowledge we gain along to our families and friends so that they too can be educated and know the ins and outs of what adoptive families experience.

When adopting a child, there are all kinds of questions that people ask. For example, "What about her "real" mother?" or "How do your "real" children feel about it?" Let me first say that I understand this language and why people have a tendency towards using it...but honestly, I don't know of any adoptive family that does not feel at least a little bit hurt by this language. When our baby comes home, she will be our real daughter. We will be her real parents, just as my father is my real father (although I do not have his DNA). To be honest, unless you are extremely close to the adoptive family, discussing birth parents is kind of a personal matter. But if you feel inclined to ask, I would definitely recommend using the term "birth parents" or "birth mother" instead of "real".

Speaking of birth mothers, often times birth circumstances should not be something that everyone is aware of as an adopted child grows up. What might happen is that she would inadvertently find out something that she was not aware of from someone who thought she knew (because everyone else knew). She may not want everyone to know the information in the first place. I think that a birth story should be the child's to tell. When our daughter is old enough, she can share her story with anyone that she wants to share it with. Until then we plan to respect her privacy and the fact that she may not want everyone to know her birth circumstances.

One last thing that we have learned about is how to tell a child that she is adopted. What we have learned is that it is always best to be up front and honest about adoption with a child. Obviously people will know that our daughter is adopted and we will face many questions, both welcomed and unwelcomed. We want our new child to feel like as much a part of our family as the other kids, because she will be! We hope to include her in our decisions when she is older, such as how to answer these questions when strangers come up to us and ask them. We will teach her from the beginning about her adoption from Rwanda. We will talk openly, read children's books about adoption, and tell her about our journey to bring her home. We will teach her about how God used adoption to bring us together so that we could be a family.

More to come on Adoption Education!

Peace Be Still

2008-03-03T15:31:00.004-05:00

Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." God has reminded me of this verse over and over throughout the past several months. God brought us into this process when we felt that we didn't have a chance...God showed us where to go when we thought we knew...and God will make the rest fall into place according to His plan. We do not need to worry if God is on our side. He created the world...is there anything that He can't handle? He is God! There is a great song by Rush of Fools called Peace Be Still that really reminds me of this truth when I listen to it. I hope that whatever you are going through, you will also remember that God is in control and He is with you.

The Dossier

2008-02-28T22:11:00.002-05:00

Well I thought we had a lot to do after we left the homestudy appointment...but actually I am now seeing that that is nothing compared to what we are now supposed to be doing (in addition to all that homestudy stuff!). We got our "Dossier Guidelines" packet today and it is so crazy!!!! In addition to the homestudy background checks and paperwork, we have to assemble the Dossier. This is the document package that will eventually be sent to Rwanda and upon which our acceptance or denial will be based. We have about 20 documents to gather, many of which we will have to go through a process to obtain. Every one of them must be notarized and certified in the state from which the document originated. Then they will all be sent to the agency, who will then take them to D.C. to get them authenticated. Then finally they will go to Rwanda to be translated. I do not understand what many of the documents are exactly. Some seem redundant and this makes me think that I am not understanding the requirements correctly. Anyway, this is what we are working on now.

We have finished our biographies and sent them to Jennifer, our social worker. They were each about 12 pages long!!! We also went and got fingerprinted and sent the background checks in. We received our fingerprint appointment for the FBI today. That will be March 11. We also went and got our marriage certificates and our birth certificates. We found out that we got the birth certificates at the wrong place. They must be from the Office of Vital Records in the state we were born...well we went and got them from the county office. They will not certify county issued documents for some reason so we will have to make another trip and spend another $20. Oh well...my error.

This is where we are at as of now. Hopefully we will make a dent all of this soon.

First Homestudy Appointment

2008-02-22T15:51:00.003-05:00

Today was our first homestudy meeting with our social worker, Jennifer. She is wonderful and I think we are going to really enjoy working with her. Today we went through some paperwork and discussed a few things with her about the process. She asked us a few general questions about the baby we will be requesting and the country that we chose. She also gave us several things to get started on at home.

We are to have two background checks completed. These are in addition to the FBI one we are having done for the I-600A. So a total of three background checks will be completed when we are finished. All three include fingerprints also.

We are each to write a biography as well. The biography isn't as difficult as it sounds. There is a three-page list of questions that we are to answer. She said we can either write it as an essay or we can just list the questions and answer them. This was a relief to Jeremy as he isn't the most graceful writer.

We also need to obtain copies of birth certificates and our marriage certificate, employment verification letters, tax summaries of the past two years, and pet vaccination records. In addition, we will have to have our doctor fill out a physical evaluation form.

We are also to attend four adoptive parent workshops. Our first one will be tomorrow. An adoption bill was recently passed by the US Senate and will be in effect beginning in April. It states that adoptive parents must have a certain number of hours of education. These workshops will meet those requirements from what I understand. Any country that has signed this "adoption treaty" will need to meet certain requirements. The requirements are for adoptive parents and agencies, as well as orphanages and orphans.

All of these things are for our homestudy; however, we are going to need official copies of all of this, notarized and authenticated, for our dossier. This will all be submitted to Rwanda. We are waiting to get the dossier details from our coordiater at our adoption agency. The dossier will have much more included in it along with all of the stuff I listed above.

That's the latest!

Rwanda Facts

2008-02-17T19:13:00.023-05:00

10 facts about Rwanda:

1) Fried grasshopppers are a delicacy in Rwanda, but you have to keep the lid on the pan while you are frying them alive, or they tend to jump out.

2) The true story "Gorillas in the Mist" was filmed in Rwanda, where tours for gorilla site-seeing are still an attraction.

3) Rwanda’s population is young. Out of the 8 million people living in Rwanda, more than half are under 18 years old. Child-headed households are not uncommon. There is an estimated 101,000 children heading up some 42,000 households.

4) One in five Rwandan children die before their fifth birthday. Malaria is the leading cause of infant and child mortality (29 percent).

5) Rwanda is the most densly populated country in Africa. 8.6 million people are living in an area slightly larger than Vermont.

6) Rwanda is commonly called "The Land of a Thousand Hills".

7) Rwanda's Volcano National Park is host to several "old volcanoes towering up almost 15,000 feet, and nearly covered with rich, green rainforest - the Virungas". Situated in the far northwest of Rwanda and across it's borders in DRCongo and Uganda, a few of these volcanoes are still active.

8) 60% of the people in Rwanda live below the poverty line.

9) The new Rwandan flag was adopted October 25, 2001. The blue stripe represents happiness and peace. The yellow symbolizes the country's mineral wealth and economic development and green symbolizes the country's natural resources and prosperity. The sun stands for unity, transparency and enlightenment from ignorance.

10) Kinyarwanda, French, and English are all official languages of Rwanda. Swahili is also widely spoken.

If you are interested in the country's history, including events leading up to the genocide of 1994, please read the following article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rwanda

The Power of Prayer

2008-02-14T14:39:00.006-05:00

If you are a praying person, then you have no doubt witnessed the incredible power of prayer partnered with faith. I have to ask a favor of all of our friends and family and any other praying person that happens to come across this blog. I am asking that you would please pray for us on a regular basis. We would be more than happy to do the same for you also! Please pray for us as we put together a dossier, as we wait for our acceptance, and as we travel to Africa to bring our baby home. My biggest concern right now is that I have been reading about the multitudes of people who have been turned down from Rwanda. I know of one family who was approved...just one! They used our agency so maybe that is a plus for us. We already have a deep love in our hearts for the baby we will be bringing into our family. With prayer and faith, God will carry out His plan for our family. After all, God is in control!

Whether we are accepted or denied, we are supposed to apply to Rwanda. There is a purpose for it. Whether it is to learn about the process, the country, or for someone else to be affected by our experience in some way, we know there is a purpose. Our hope is, of course, to bring a baby home...out of the orphanage and into our family and into the great, great love that all of you have already shown that you are ready to share with this baby.

Thank you all and please pray!

A Message From God

2008-02-11T23:30:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt like God is trying to tell you something but you can't figure out exactly what it is? I have. For the past few days, I have felt uneasy and I have felt like God is trying to show me something. Something isn't right. I asked Jeremy a couple of days ago if he was feeling like that and he said no, so I dropped it. Sunday night and all day yesterday, it was driving me crazy. Was it the country we chose? The age of the baby? The gender? So yesterday I prayed to God, "If there is something you want us to do differently, please allow Jeremy to understand the message you are trying to send to us." Well I came home from work last night and Jeremy said he had an overwhelming feeling that we need to adopt from Rwanda. Overwhelming! That is pretty amazing considering that during my whole week of struggling with this decision, he said he felt pretty neutral and that the Ethiopia process would be easier and more predictable. So God answered my prayer and there is no doubt that He is saying we should adopt from Rwanda. I think I did know all along, but it is scary so I was not wanting to listen to what I knew we were supposed to do.

I want to do it. I do trust God, but I am scared. What am I afraid of? Well, I am afraid of being turned down, afraid of leaving my kids for 3-4 weeks, afraid of traveling, afraid of getting my heart broken. As many reasons that I can think of not to do this, I can think of one reason to do it: A little baby that needs a family. A baby that does not have a list of eager adoptive parents waiting for her to join their family. And so we will go there. We will take the journey that God has called us to take.

What is an I-600A?

2008-02-10T14:57:00.000-05:00

Friday was an exciting day. I went to the mailbox and lo and behold! The two packets of forms and information from BOTH agencies (the homestudy agency and America World) were in there! I couldn't believe how fast they got here. There is so much information in these packets! I was immediately obsessed and stayed up until 1am reading and filling out forms. I sent the two agency packets back yesterday and I will mail our I-600A tomorrow.

What, you ask, is an I-600A? The I-600A preapproves the prospective adoptive parents to bring an "immigrant" orphaned child into the United States. The I-600A is a one-page form we filled out and with that, we had to send in our birth certificates, marriage license, and copies of our social security cards. We will also send a copy of the homestudy when it is complete. Next, we will be contacted with an appointment in order to be fingerprinted for an FBI background check. All of this is submitted to our local USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) office. After it is processed, we will receive the ever important I-171H approval. More about that later!

We have made our decision!

2008-02-08T22:30:00.000-05:00

We have finally made a decision. We are going to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia! There are many many factors that have influenced our decision but ultimately, we think that this is the direction God is leading us. Rwanda has too many things up in the air right now. The program isn't even running at the present time. Also, three to four weeks is just too long to leave our kids...and then to return after all that time with a new baby. It is a lot for a three year old to handle. Plus the risks. We have to do what is right for our family right now and in many many ways, Ethiopia couldn't be more perfect.

We have decided to leave the application as it is, with "girl" requested. I have always pictured our next baby being a girl. This is the ONE time I can choose, so why not!? By the way, I had a dream last night about our new baby and it was a girl...I won't give anymore details but it was the funniest dream I have ever had. (Mom and Jessi, you know what I am talking about! haha!)

I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off of us now that we have made these important decisions. Ahhhhh...I can breath and relax again.

I Have a Better Idea...

2008-02-07T22:09:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking about this adoption pretty much non-stop for the past 5 days. Dreaming about it in my sleep, agonizing over the decisions that have to be made, and if I am honest, maybe even a little bit of worrying about it. Instead of thinking, worrying, and agonizing, every time I start to do this I am going to pray about adoption. Yesterday I pretty much prayed all day long. Thanks to the mommy who gave me this idea! It is so much more productive!

I remember being pregnant and saying, "Boy, it must be nice to adopt a baby and have all the hard work done for you." WRONG!!!! I know better now!

Application Approved!

2008-02-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

We got the phone call we have been waiting for today...We are approved!

Next step: begin our homestudy and piles of paperwork...after we decide our country!

This is difficult!

2008-02-06T09:50:00.001-05:00

For the past week or so, we have been agonizing over where we should adopt from. There is no doubt, our hearts are in Africa. The more I learn about the situation now and the events of the past, the more heartbroken I am for the people. We have known all along that God is calling us to adopt from Africa.

The question is Rwanda or Ethiopia? There is a great need in both countries. Ethiopia's program is gaining in popularity each year. There are many people waiting to adopt a baby from Ethiopia; however, there are many many more orphans there than will ever be adopted. Adoption from Ethiopia is a wonderful thing and is gaining popularity each year. Rwanda, however, is not a popular place for adoptions. Very few people have adopted from there since the genocide. Our agency is the first to start a program there that I am aware of. There is very little information and from what I have heard, it is very difficult to meet the requirements of the orphanges, as they do not have specific law criteria that they follow. I have been told that if they do not like you, they will find a reason to turn you down. That being said, those babies are there and they do not have lists of people waiting to adopt them. They will grow up in the system and age out of the system if someone doesn't come and get them out of it now.

Problem with Rwanda: In order to come home with our Rwandan baby, we will have to get a visa for the baby. Presently, as I understand it, the procedure is to go to Kenya to get the visa. Americans cannot safely go into Kenya right now. There is a travel advisory stating that no one should travel there right now in light of the recent political events. I am trying to find out if we can fly somewhere else (Ethiopia?) that is safe to travel to and get the visa.

So is God calling us to help a child in Rwanda? Is it too dangerous? Please pray for us and our decision. It is a diffucult one. We want to do whatever God is calling us to do.

Adoption Costs...yikes!

2008-02-03T14:45:00.000-05:00

Adoption is expensive! I think that one of the most amazing parts of any adoption is to see how God has provided the funds to those parents who have adopted. Like most couples entering into an adoption, we have been concerned about where the money will come from. We prayed and prayed about it before making our decision. God started showing us that He will provide for us and we trust that He will. It is so amazing to see God answering our prayers about this. This aspect of adoption alone has definitely grown our faith into something even stronger.

So how much does it cost? Well, total costs, including anything and everything you will need to pay for in an Ethiopian adoption, are between $19,895 and $29,445. These estimates, which are provided by our agency, include everything from passports and travel, to copays at the doctor when you get a physical. Yes it is a lot, but totally worth every penny!

It seems that the stronger our faith gets, the more God reveals to us His plan...and the more He reveals to us His plan, the stronger our faith gets!

For a break down of the costs, click here .

Ethiopia or Rwanda?

2008-02-02T21:43:00.000-05:00

We were recently informed that a new program has just started at our adoption agency in Rwanda. This is another African country. You might remember the terrible genocide that took place there in 1994. Adoptions have stopped since then and are just now beginning again. Oddly enough, we are not sure if we meet the age requirements. Couples who have been married for 5 years can adopt, as long as at least one of them is over 30. Ok, so Jeremy just turned 30. Technically then, he is over 30...right? Or does it mean 31? I don't want to go through the entire process only to find out we are too young (in which case we would switch back to Ethiopia). On the other hand, this country's process is much faster than Ethiopia's. We might have our baby in as little as 8 months. It is also a little less expensive. Another con though, travel time is 3-4 weeks. Ethiopia's is only 1 week. Could I possibly be away from my babies for that long? I don't know. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think!

Specifics About Our Baby

2008-02-01T17:59:00.000-05:00

The big question is: What age and gender are we requesting? To be honest, at this point I am not sure. On our application we requested a female between 0 and 6 months of age. This will be the age of the baby when we get the referral, not necessarily when we bring him/her home. After some thinking, I'm not sure that requesting a girl is the right thing for us to do. Jeremy and I would love to have another boy and less importantly, the wait time for a girl is approximately 3 months longer (or so I have been told). I have to admit, I love the frillies and other fun things that come with a baby girl. Of course, R wants a sister and J is hoping for a brother. We are considering changing our request to "either" after our application has been approved and leaving it in God's hands. I'll let you all know when we make our official decision.

10 Interesting Facts

2008-01-31T21:26:00.000-05:00

First, I want to say thank you to my family and friends for the overwhelming support and the many many kind words that have been spoken and written to us in the past few days. Your support is so important to us. We love you guys!!

1)Ethiopia is the only African country that was not colonized as various European nations scrambled to divide and rule Africa.

2) Ethiopia has a population of approximately 77 million people and is slightly less than twice the size of Texas (2007).

3) Do you like Starbucks? Coffee has its beginnings in Ethiopia, the original home of the coffee plant, coffee arabica, which still grows wild in the forest of the highlands.

4) Ethiopian coffee farmers often collect about 10 percent of the profits from these coffees. The rest goes to the international importers, distributors—and roasters like Starbucks.

5) Ethiopia offers more rich archaeological finds and historical buildings than any other country in Sub-Saharan Africa.

6) Ethiopia celebrated the millenium on September 11, 2007. They use a different calendar than we do...interesting, huh?

7) The life expectancy in Ethiopia is 42.

8) Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia, although English, Italian, French and Arabic are also widely spoken.

9) Ethiopia is the oldest independent country in Africa, and one of the oldest in the world—its history dates back at least 2,000 years.

10) Ethiopia is home of the famed Queen of Sheeba.

Will Our Child Be Healthy?

2008-01-31T00:20:00.000-05:00

This is usually one of the first questions people ask. I understand why; however, in many ways adoption is much like being pregnant. You do what you can to help ensure that your baby will be healthy, but you must always keep in mind that there are no guarantees. And just as in all four of my pregnancies (yep, I said 4!), our love for the baby will not depend on his/her medical status. We will love the baby regardless.

That being said, there are several steps taken during the adoption process to help increase the chances that couples who request a healthy baby get one...and they usually do. Before a referral is sent, the babies are tested for certain diseases, including HIV. Included in the referral is a brief medical report that can be reviewed by an international adoption specialist if we choose to do so. Before coming home, the baby is screened again (at least this is what I have been told). We must also keep in mind that other issues such as malnutrition would not be out of the ordinary.

The Adoption Process

2008-01-30T08:36:00.000-05:00

So how exactly does adoption work? What is the process? Well to be honest, we are still figuring that out ourselves. Here is the basic process. The entire process takes anywhere from 12 to 24 months.

1. Choose an agency and submit an application. We have completed this step and are now waiting for our acceptance letter from them. (By the way, waiting seems to be a continued theme throughout the adoption process.)
2. Complete a homestudy. This is where you have a social worker come to your house a few times and ask lots of questions. You submit a bunch of paperwork and then of course...wait for the homestudy to be completed by the social worker. I have heard that this takes anywhere from a month to two months.
3. Complete a dossier. This is the paperchase step. We basically have a bunch of papers to get together and put in a pack that will be sent to Ethiopia. This is called "the dossier". This step depends on how quickly people get things signed, sent to us, etc. It could be a month, could be more, or even less. It seems like most people take a couple of months.
4. Receive a referral. A referral contains a baby's medical records, a picture, and a brief description of the baby's circumstances. Waiting for a referral can take a long time. We are requesting a young baby so it will probably take a while. It can take roughly anywhere from 4 to 7 months.
5. Court. With an Ethiopian adoption, the agency's in-country staff goes to court for you. So the baby is legally yours before you even travel. I have heard of several couples that had more than one court date due to glitches in paperwork, etc. This process seems a little unpredictable as far as time is concerned. It could be a month if we are very very lucky, it could be much longer if we are not.
6. Travel. This is the fun part! We get to go get our baby! We plan to stop in Rome on the way!
7. Re-adoption. If adoptive parents are not in court in-country, they must re-adopt when they get home. The baby is technically ours after the first court date, but in order to get citizenship, re-adoption is necessary. If adoptive parents are present for court (as in some other countries), the child is a citizen as soon as he/she is on US soil.

Phew!!! Just typing it takes a long time. I hope we can be patient through all of this. I can't wait to meet our new little one! Tomorrow I will discuss medical questions that lots of people have been asking.

I am now doing homework instead of giving it!

2008-01-29T08:23:00.000-05:00

When you decide to adopt, ok before you decide to adopt even, there is a lot of homework to do. We did not just decide to adopt from Ethiopia all of the sudden. It took a lot of research and a lot of thinking and praying. We had so many questions to answer. What are the conditions there? Are the children healthy? How long does it take? How much does it cost? Is it ethical? What agency should we use?...lots of questions! There was definitely a lot of research before making this big decision. We have talked with others living here in the US that have been through it and even a couple right here in our own city that has recently been through it. We feel like we know what to expect now and we are ready to take the next step. I will answer some of these questions in my next few blogs. Our agency also has lots of information.

How this journey began...

2008-01-28T23:18:00.000-05:00

It started with a concert that Jeremy and I went to. The singer talked about the crisis going on in Africa. There is a pandemic there. HIV/AIDS has riveted the continent. Ethiopia has 4.5 million orphans. Three out of four families have already taken in at least one orphan.

As we have educated ourselves about Ethiopia, we have come to love the country and its people. I had heard about it all before, but for some reason this time was different. Something inside of me was moved. Later, actually weeks later, I finally told Jeremy about the strange feeling I was having...like we were supposed to do something. He immediately told me that he had been feeling the same way all along too. We had never really talked about adoption until that conversation. We knew it was God telling us what we needed to do. Months before, I had prayed that God would let us do something for Him. "We will do whatever you want us to do...just please help us to know what it is. " I was thinking maybe go on a mission trip or something...I guess God had other plans for us when He heard my prayer! I have never felt so directly led by God to do something until now...and it wasn't until later that I even remembered praying that prayer.

So here we are, beginning a long journey that will add another wonderful, beautiful child to our family. What makes this great thing even better is that we are going to be able to make a difference to someone. Maybe that someone will make a difference to Ethiopia someday...I hope so!